There comes a time when you just have to accept that you’re actually stronger than you give yourself credit for. Hold yourself accountable for your life. Believe in yourself. Others do.
At least, that seems to be the ever emerging theme in my life, but as has been documented SO many times before, it’s really easy to compare yourself to the world around you and everyone else’s life that you forget that you are ultimately the most important person in your life, for unless you take care of yourself and follow your dreams, nobody else will.
If we rewind a month, things were on that upward trajectory with new plans and projects for January. Did you do the same? Get set for 2019. Wheeee! Here it comes. In my case, no resolutions other than to take Action this year. No dawdling. Admittedly, this has resulted in something of an energy drain for the past few weeks and very nearly a ‘back to square one’ scenario, but I was lucky. I’ve been there, done that, got the experience, and can catch it (usually) before the black dog or mad monkey cause too much havoc in my life, although they’re great at pushing the buttons.
But, new challenges were the order of the day (or year) and I’m pushing on. How about you? It’s been exciting to not only see some projects come to fruition or appear to, such as a course I designed getting the green light allowing me to deliver it with my co-tutor and the wheels are turning to produce a new radio show I will front. It’s only been a few years in the making, but sometimes a collaboration is what’s needed to give you the push, and I’m really grateful that for each of these projects I’ve people holding me to account.
The same is very much true for all of my other projects and finally, good news, my play is virtually ready for its first airing with its cast and, give us a few months, who knows where we’ll be popping up to perform? In the first instance, it’s exciting enough to have a play ready and raring to go, a piece of work you’ve created coming to life, but to have a cast as talented as the one I’ve mustered is simply fantastic (OK, we’re not talking Judi Dench and Julie Walters, but you have to start within your means).
Work continues apace – we need it to pay the bills of course – and the hard work of the team at the youth club means we are still on and above our ‘A’ game, so much so that potentially this provision will expand so that we reach more young people.
There have been chances for me to have downtime, go to concerts, do some soul searching, watch films and vegetate, and catch up with friends (including a surprise party!), and this is all great, who wouldn’t want a life that’s soaring, BUT….
Of course, amidst all of these joyful things, life can throw a curve ball. Today it’s done just that. This sticker, three words, was handed to me this morning.
I’m at a point where I can’t explain what it is to do with and there are only a couple of people who know full well the significance of it but this sticker could change the course of my life completely. Isn’t it amazing to think that three words could change your life? Two of those words are my name, and one is a colour. It could have been any colour, but it was that. None of what is written is significant though, it’s what’s behind the sticker that’s significant (and before you say it’s a black background, I’m referring to the significance of why it was handed to me).
That solitary sticker has signified a huge leap in my life. It signifies the fact that I had to walk in somewhere by myself, completely out of my depth and walk the first few footsteps on a scary path that could alter my life forever. It signifies big decisions for me. It signals the unknown.
But is the unknown scary? Is it good? Is it bad? We don’t truly know until we face it.
I’ve been through the mill as many of you who read this know. You’ve likely been through it too, but we’ve come through it. Sure, the days might be a bit rubbish, but we wake up each morning, are grateful that what we thought was our last breath the previous evening wasn’t, we stand up, and we start again.
Sometimes though, we have to push ourselves, whether we are really ready to face what the outcome may hold. We have to listen to the voices in our head and those of friends and family, but when is the right time to truly accept that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for?